Monday, March 23, 2009

31-If WW2 was Real Time Strategy Game

If World War Two had been an online Real Time Strategy game, the chat room traffic would have gone something like this.

*Hitler[AoE] has joined the game.*
*Eisenhower has joined the game.*
*paTTon has joined the game.*
*Churchill has joined the game.*
*benny-tow has joined the game.*
*T0J0 has joined the game.*
* Roosevelt has joined the game.*
*Stalin has joined the game.*
*deGaulle has joined the game.*
Roosevelt : hey sup
T0J0: y0
Stalin: hi
Churchill: hi
Hitler[AoE]: cool, i start with panzer tanks!
paTTon: lol more like panzy tanks
T0JO: lol
Roosevelt : o this sucks i got a depression!
benny-tow: haha america sux
Stalin: hey hitler you dont fight me i dont fight u, cool?
Hitler[AoE]; sure whatever
Stalin: cool
deGaulle: **** Hitler rushed some1 help
Hitler[AoE]: lol byebye frenchy
Roosevelt : i dont got anythin to help, sry
Churchill: poo the luftwaffle is attacking me
Roosevelt : get antiair guns
Churchill: i cant afford them
benny-tow: u n00bs know what team talk is?
paTTon: shut up
Roosevelt : o yah hit the navajo button guys
deGaulle: eisenhower ur worthless come help me quick
Eisenhower: i cant do anythin til rosevelt gives me an army
paTTon: yah hurry the heck up
Churchill: d00d im gettin pounded
deGaulle: this is weak u guys suck
*deGaulle has left the game.*
Roosevelt : im gonna attack the axis k?
benny-tow: with what? ur wheelchair?
benny-tow: lol did u mess up ur legs AND ur head?
Hitler[AoE]: ROFL
T0J0: lol o no america im comin 4 u
Roosevelt : #%$! thats dumb im gunna kick ur butts
T0JO: not without ur harbors u wont! lol
Roosevelt : u little… ill get u
Hitler[AoE]: OMG
Hitler[AoE]: america hax, u had depression and now u got a huge army
Hitler[AoE]: thats ridic u hacker
Churchill: lol no more france for u hitler
Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: what u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: what r u doin?!? we had a truce!
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
benny-tow: hey ur losing ur guys in africa im gonna need help in italy soon sum1
T0J0: o **** i cant help u i got my hands full
Hitler[AoE]: im 2 busy 2 help
Roosevelt: yah thats right ***** im comin for ya
Stalin: church help me
Churchill: like u helped me before? sure ill just sit here
Stalin: dont be a meanie
Churchill: dont be a commie. oops too late
Eisenhower: LOL
benny-tow: hahahh oh no help
Hitler: o man ur doomed
paTTon: oh what now
Roosevelt : whos the cripple now lol
*benny-tow has been eliminated.*
benny-tow: lame
Roosevelt : gj patton
paTTon: thnx
Hitler[AoE]: OMG eisenhower hax hes killing all my stuff
Hitler[AoE]: quit u hacker so u dont ruin my record
Eisenhower: Nuts!
benny~tow: whats that mean?
paTTon: coming to get u hitler u paper hanging hun
Stalin: rofl
Hitler[AoE]: u guys are dumb
Hitler[AoE]: ur never getting in my city
*Hitler[AoE] has been eliminated.*
benny~tow: OMG u noob you killed yourself
Eisenhower: ROFLOLOLOL
Stalin: OMG LMAO!
Hitler[AoE]: i didnt click there omg this game sucks
*Hitler[AoE] has left the game*
paTTon: hahahhah
T0J0: lameeeee my teammates are n00bs
benny~tow: shut up noob
Roosevelt : haha wut a moron
paTTon: what am i gunna do now?
Eisenhower: yah me too
T0J0: why dont u attack me o thats right u dont got no ships lololol
Eisenhower: shut up
paTTon: lemme go thru ur base commie
Stalin: noooooooope lol
paTTon: im dun wit this
Eisenhower: yah this is dumb
* Roosevelt has left the game.*
Hitler[AoE]: ???
Eisenhower: now we need some1 to join
*tru_m4n has joined the game.*
tru_m4n: hi all
T0J0: hey
Stalin: sup
Churchill: hi
tru_m4n: OMG OMG OMG i got all his stuff!
tru_m4n: NUKES! HOLY **** I GOT NUKES
Stalin: d00d gimmie some plz
tru_m4n: no way i only got like a couple
Stalin: omg dont be dumb gimmie nuculer secrets
T0J0: what is nukes?
T0J0: holy ****holy****hoyl****!
*T0J0 has been eliminated.*
*The Allied team has won the game!*
Eisenhower: awesome!
Churchill: gg noobs no re
T0J0: this is ridic! Im dun
*T0J0 has left the game.*
*Eisenhower has left the game.*
Stalin: next game im not going to be on ur team, u guys didnt help me
Churchill: wutever, we didnt need ur help neway
tru_m4n: l8r all
benny~tow: bye
Churchill: l8r
Stalin: I hate u all
tru_m4n: shut up commie lol
*tru_m4n has left the game.*
benny~tow: lololol u commie
Churchill: ROFL
Churchill: bye commie
*Churchill has left the game.*
*benny~tow has left the game.*
Stalin: i hate u all
*Stalin has left the game.*
paTTon: lol no1 is left
paTTon: weeeee i got a jeep
*paTTon has been eliminated.*
paTTon: awwww….
*paTTon has left the game.*


Jessica said...

Wow, that was really funny. I love the way you used the little IM or texting words. This was suprisingly easy to understand and it made WWII really entertaining. Loved it!!

LtAirForce said...

Lol, thats pretty good...I like Patton at the end "wooo i got a jeep"

Alex J.

Niraj Amalkanti said...

That was hilarious. Especially the nukes. Was this based on an actual game like Company of Heroes, or just a generic WWII RTS?

Nick_R said...

Wow, this is so funny. I think the best part is when Hitler yells, "America Hax!" I would like to see more of these like for WWI or another war. Very clever.

Nick Ragan.

Jeff said...

Wow, I found this absolutely hilarious. Mixing both a comical RTS chat script (Which I fully understood HAH!) with history was very original. I especially liked how it was very accurate to what actually happened in World War Two. I'm guessing that you must have gotten this from something else, since there's some censored stuff (and I think maybe a few changed words? haha). If you did make it, then that's amazing O'D, haha! Great post!